Impact Statement of Sandy Kinnud – Jocelyn Dulnuan’s husband

Impact Statement of Sandy Kinnud – Jocelyn Dulnuan’s husband

(We are reprinting excerpts from the Impact Statement of Sandy Kinnud, husband of the late Jocelyn Dulnuan, who was murdered in 2007. The case concluded last week with the sentencing to life imprisonment of the two accused. — Ed.)

The death of my wife Jocelyn has greatly affected me and my family in so many ways. Since the tragedy, my life has been a series of ups and down. Some days, all I want to do is cry and some days, I feel very angry; but thankfully, my daughter inspires me to keep going. She gives me the strength and courage to carry on

I cannot begin to express the emptiness I feel since the tragedy. Thoughts remains in me that she’s still in Canada working for our own sake as I wait for her call and say “hi” to me and our young daughter. I keep hoping Jocelyn would miraculously call and tell us how much she missed us like she used to do– but that is a dream that will never come true.

Jocelyn and I had big plans together with our daughter, we wanted to give our daughter the best education possible; but now all disappeared with her. Our plan to send her to a private school where she can excel is no longer possible.

* * *

Now that’s all gone, only shattered dreams, replaced by grief and unbelievable emptiness. But the worst part is imagining how she suffered under the hands of her killers; how she fought for her life without me there to protect her.

* * *

So I can only imagine how she suffered, how her killers mercilessly strangled her – my beautiful and promising wife. I can only imagine how she must have tried to defend herself.

* * *

I wish I can ask the killers why they did this to my innocent wife – to a defenseless woman, a mother. Do they have sisters or mothers? Has she done anything wrong to them? Her only crime was to do her assigned duties; to protect what she was entrusted to protect. To abide by the laws of her new found home.

* * *

Jocelyn used to call and ask her daughter how she liked her new clothes, and her toys- now that’s gone. She used to call us almost daily and I used to enjoy watching my daughter squeal with delight when she spoke to her mom on the phone. Now, I am left speechless whenever my daughter tells me she misses her mom so much. The longing for the phone call is unbearable even after all these years.

Because of what the killers did to my wife, my daughter will never experience a mother and daughter relationship. Angelique will never hear her mother’s voice ever again. And I will never hear her squeal and giggle ever again. I do hope that time will eventually heal the wounds but for now, it hasn’t.

* * *

For now, I feel so alone facing the responsibility for our child as if I cannot complete her happiness while she is growing, especially when she asks for her mother which steers the pain in me every time. And I hope I will continue to be strong to support my child by myself in memory of my beloved wife.

Her death remains a big stain in our memory and only when all the perpetrators receive their corresponding sentence where we attain tranquility and peace in our heart and mind. Only when the culprits suffer the consequences and held accountable of their acts will the pain we gravely feel start to heal as we settle for a new course in life. As we always pray that justice shall be given for her death under the rule of law. With faith in God the almighty who guides us, the hope for justice shall be rendered accordingly.