Eulogy for Elmer ‘Sonny’ Martinez Sta. Ana (1948-2023)

Eulogy for Elmer ‘Sonny’ Martinez Sta. Ana (1948-2023)

Elmer ‘Sonny’ Martinez Sta. Ana (1948-2023)

By ChiChi Marquez*

If I have to give one adjective to describe Elmer (Sonny), it would be: perfectionist.

I think most members of the family would agree with me on this, including his children and grandchildren.  For instance, knowing that his Lolo wanted everything to his liking, our 6-year old grandson now ends his prayer with “… please heal the sick.  We also pray that heaven is good enough for Lolo.”

Elmer plans his every move, with full attention to details, which is one of the reasons he thrived in software development.

As I recollect his actions over the past few months, I realized he was preparing me for a life alone.  First, he bought us as a full set of pickle ball equipment and outfit.  We only played twice, both during the Saturday after his Monday chemo/immunotherapy infusion.  Looking back, I think he knew that this was one activity I could pursue even with him gone.

Sometime in June, he planted a bougainvilla tree .  A week before he passed, he requested that his ashes be buried under that tree, which was contrary to his original plan of having his ashes buried in the Philippines with his dad and mom.  This saved me from having to make a decision on whether to stay in Florida or move back to New Jersey where we also own a condo unit.  It was subtle way of suggesting that I should keep the house and stay in Orlando, where I have started to make new friends.

Amidst his façade of being a man so stern, hard of conviction, and used to having the upper-hand in most situations, in Elmer lies hidden a soft and vulnerable soul.  

Recently, there was a Broadway revival of the shows he knew in his younger days.  We were lucky to watch two: Carousel and My Fair Lady.  He reconnected with an old favorite song : You’ll Never Walk Alone.  This song,  plus Old Rugged Cross, a favorite of his mom’s, were the songs he wanted to be played on repeat, when alone in bed, most likely in terrible pain.  

Elmer Sta. Ana with wife ChiChi Marquez, children and grandchildren during their daughter Sarah’s recent wedding.

In recent months, his streaming preference would be rom-coms, no longer the cerebral thrillers we used to watch.  He watched all 600+ episodes of Resurrection Ertrugul, followed with Kurulus Osman, shows he had lengthily discussed with his Prepian chat group.  He streamed the latter directly from a provider in Turkey (KayifamilyTV) because he could not wait for the Netflix release.   He alternates this with Korean drama, as well as Suits, Madame Secretary, and similar shows.  For music, he loved Stacey Kent, Sinatra, Diana Krall and artists who would sing similar types of songs.

He was diagnosed with Stage 4 esophageal cancer (squamus cell carcinoma) on April 2023.  His cancer had metastasized mainly to the hip bone, liver and lungs.  His prognosis was to live one year at best, with a most likely crash in about four months.  

But we being believers, with hope coming hand-in-hand with faith, Elmer fought hard to beat the odds.

His health started a sharp decline after celebrating his son’s 50th birthday in NJ.  He barely ate.  It was a good day if he was able to down three tablespoons of arroz caldo, and one bottle of Ensure within a day.  After weeks of poor nutrition, he became lethargic and disoriented.   During a routine visit, his oncologist recommended that he be brought to the Emergency Room.  It was a Thursday, September 21.

The family thought that we would lose him that week.  But he fought.  He had wanted to attend our daughter’s wedding on October 27.  And so he was released from the hospital on October 13, after going through a 10-day radiation on the throat and hip.  He came home with a PEG tube, where he would get fed 16fl oz of Glucerna/Ensure three times a day.

It was a grueling two months and we knew that many of you were praying for us with the same vigor as you did for Elmer.  Amazingly, the family had the strength to make it through.  The family took turns flying from NJ, making sure we here in Florida had help.    It was during these days that we would discover that there is a special blessing bestowed to caregivers.  It is not quite easy to explain, but God had given all of us peace and calm in these moments of turmoil.

He took his last breath on a Tuesday, November 21, at home, beside me, surrounded by his immediate family.  

I had the privilege of being with him for almost 40 years.  I hope it was as good for you all as it was for me.

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* ChiChi Marquez is the wife of Elmer Sta. Ana.  Elmer was born in the Philippines and migrated to the United States where he worked, living with his family at first in New Jersey and later in Florida. Described by his wife, children and grandchildren as a loving family man, Elmer also belonged to another family: the University of the Philippine Preparatory School Class 1965, or UP Prep 65, a tightly knit batch of high school classmates whom he was close to. UP Prep 65, whose members are in different parts of the world — including Canada — will hold a tribute to Elmer online on December 18, 2023, 10 am Asia/Manila. (Ed.)