A golden story to warm your heart

A golden story to warm your heart

By Mila Astorga-Garcia

Mr. Basiliso and Mrs. Prima (de Veyra) Astorga on their wedding day 65 years ago.

(In honour of my long-departed parents who would have celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary this year, I reprint this column.  Fifteen years have passed since I had written this story, which I have told and re-told to our three children and four grandchildren. Just like my parents, they too live life with love, caring, daring, a sense of humour and zest.)

THE DAY after Valentine’s Day, I got an interesting e-mail from a high school classmate and friend based in Manila. It was actually about a piece of good news electronically sent to her that day from a Vancouver-based former classmate, that she had in turn forwarded to me and to scores of other former high school classmates residing in different parts of the world, whose e-mail addresses were included in her long electronic mailing list.

Just what was this exciting piece of news that travelled from Vancouver to Manila, then back to Toronto and to various other places all over the globe in just one day?

The brief introduction to the message proclaimed: “Hi folks! Can anybody beat this, ha?” It was Ana B. writing from Manila, referring to a note sent to her by Ed de la Rea in Vancouver, telling her about the good fortune of Tony Aytona, another Vancouver-based classmate.

Ed’s forwarded note read:

“I was just at Tony’s house tonight… He would like to let everyone know that while some of our batchmates are already celebrating their golden existence, he and his wife will be having a golden child. Our local barkada is now calling him ‘macho man’ because of this feat. So please inform the gang.”

(The gang refers to members of high school class 1965 of the University of the Philippines Preparatory School to which I belong. We have somehow managed to keep in close touch throughout these years, that we get to share news, views, and milestones happening to us and our families – like job promotions, 50th birthdays, daughters’ debuts, children’s marriages, grandchildren’s births, and even the sad demise of parents. The advent of the Internet has all the more enhanced our friendships, networked as we are via e-mail and our own web site – UP Prep 65 Global Exchange – that we created for this purpose.

This time, it was indeed rare but wonderful news about a classmate’s parenthood happening in this interesting stage of our lives, which — depending on one’s attitude and circumstance – is either welcomed with a sense of eagerness and adventure, or deplored with a sense of anxiety, denial, agony and regret.
More important, such a blessing coming to Tony and his wife Cookie, reminded me very much of the story of my own long-deceased parents.

I hastily replied to the e-mail with thanks to Ana and Ed for sharing the good news, and with congratulatory greetings to the golden parents. And to all my classmates receiving that note, I thought of giving them a special treat in the form of a golden love story to warm their midlife-hearts, inspired as I was with cherished but long buried memories then rushing back to my mind.

As a result, heartwarming responses to my e-mailed note with the golden story came from all over the world, with one classmate asking me to publish it, if only to share its message of keeping good faith in our golden years.

Thus I share my original note to our readers, if only to inspire other midlifers like my classmates and me, and to pay tribute to the memory of the two beloved midlifers who started it all:

My father sired his first child when he was 49 (guess who that was). Then he had his second when he was 53. My mother had her first baby when she was 39, then her second when she was 43.

To my parents, the golden years were the best times of their lives. You see, after 10 years of being sweethearts, my father and mother got married when he was 48 and she was 38.

He was an income tax examiner, a job which had him travelling all over the Visayas for long periods of time. My mother was a school teacher in a small town in Leyte. My father used to tell me how perilous his journeys were, especially in stormy seas, that he feared many times he would never see his sweetheart again. Their special friendship was sustained through endless letters and my father’s surprise visits at my mother’s place of work, whenever he could steal time from his hectic schedule. When they finally settled down to start a family, they were blessed with two golden babies.

Theirs was a marriage full of sharing, caring, sacrifice and love. And all through our childhood, my sister Suzette and I knew we were doubly blessed to have such wonderful parents.

My father passed away in 1965 when he was 65 years old, my mother 10 years later, also when she was 65. To this day, I miss them very much.

From my parents – bless them – I’ve learned that midlife can be the most joyous moment of one’s existence. And so I will relish all the golden years I will be sharing with my husband, our children, the rest of our family, and friends.

Lastly, I have to confess that until a few years ago, my fervent wish was to have another child in midlife. My husband and I have decided, instead, to just wait for our first grandchild.

It will be quite a long wait, though. Parenthood is not yet in the immediate plans of any of our three grown-up children, whose ages range from the early to late 20s. The good thing is, my husband and I have already chosen the name of our first grandchild. The funny thing is, our children don’t even know we have already started to meddle in their family affairs, even before they could start their own families!

Yes, indeed, in midlife, you can do anything you want!

And notwithstanding grey hairs, wrinkles, middle age spread, warts, and all, midlife will never be the crisis some doom it to be, if lived with love, caring, daring, a sense of humor and zest.