Memorial to Angeles J. Aureus: Remembering Lola

Memorial to Angeles J. Aureus: Remembering Lola

Extraordinary Mother, Grandmother

By Leon B. Aureus

(Actor, playwright, director and current Artistic Producer of Carlos Bulosan Theatre – Canada’s longest serving Filipino-Canadian theatre company)

Boston Crème donut. As a young boy, when I first bit into my first Boston crème donut, I wondered if the creamy centre should have a slightly greenish tinge and have a slightly sour taste. You see this donut was from grandma…who had frozen the donut after saving it from a recent shift at the Carlton Inn hotel where she worked. And despite the dubious state of the donut at that time, it’s an excellent starting point for my memories of my grandma, our Lola.

Whenever I would visit her in the seniors apartment where she lived a very independent and vibrant life on her own, she would offer up the contents of her fridge and I would be treated to an eclectic mix of sinigang soup, mystery meat adobo, pancit from a recent party she organized, hot dogs, pickles topped off with green jello and whipped cream for dessert.
She was without doubt loving and kind but I remember even more so is that she was tough – she dispensed tough love – often spanking and disciplining my cousin and partner in crime, Michael and me when we were bad – and that was often – we’d climb the walls like Spiderman and shoot her cat with our water pistols.

As you see in the many photos celebrating her life, Grandma was adventurous, vibrant and passionate. She was also hardworking, brave and above all she was strong and she was all of these things – for her family.

When her mother was sick, and her father lost much of the family’s money and land – she moved to another town as a teenager to study to become a nurse so she could support them. When invading Japanese soldiers were shooting and chasing her through the dark jungles of Camarine Sur, with her baby in her arms, she ignored her fear and her hunger and she ran. When her husband died leaving her with 8 children to support, she found a way, any way to do so – moving to a cold and foreign country this woman who once waltzed with Presidents as the wife of the city mayor, worked as a chamber maid in a hotel, she served hotdogs at my school cafeteria saving – she scrimped and saved and lived a very simple life so her children, her grandchildren and great grandchildren could have the opportunity for a better life. And even when cancer came calling, she said oh yeah, I’m gonna rock this wig and these sunglasses and I’m going to beat you.

One of my favorite stories she told me and this was when she was 90 – she fondly remembered when she was as a young girl, and she was entered into this singing contest in her small town of Palapag – and even though she didn’t have the best voice or the best dress – she sang with all her heart – and she won. This was this spirit she carried with her throughout her life. Show up and do your best.

And perhaps my favourite advice from her will always be that if you’re sick and there’s no one to take care of you, you can take care of yourself. Put Vick’s vaporub on the wall and rub your back against it!

My heart aches and it grieves that you are no longer with us, grandma – but I’m trying to be strong like you. Grandma had a strength and regalness about her – that I often imagined her the regal descendent of a Filipino chieftain-amazon-warrior-princess. It feels so weird with you here like this now – I feel like you’ll sit up at any moment and go, “oh, Jun-Jun why did you put that picture of me with rice on my shirt?” – and yet you are gone. And yet…in the spirit of your children, your grandchildren – and now even your great grandchildren, your spirit will live on. – I tell you my aunts, sisters, cousins and nieces are fiery and sassy women just like Lola. And I will forever be inspired by her leadership in the Filipino community and will strive to continue to do similar work so that future generations will know their history and heritage and be proud to be Filipino.

And finally, thank you grandma. For all that you have given us. I hope all of us can truly carry your lessons in our own lives. Show up, be bold and brave, be gracious and graceful, give your best – not for glory or money or fancy things – but for those that you love. For your family.

Maraming maraming salamat p